I am getting married in less than 3 months’ time. What the ****?!
As a little background for any new readers of my rambling blog posts, I finally got engaged in November 2017 when Mr Jade popped the question during a short break at the Lake District. I wrote a post shortly after that about wanting to stay in that happy bubble of engagement joy for as long as possible. I make a living planning weddings and events so I wanted to make sure that this event, probably the most significant event of my life, stayed as far away from work as possible! And I managed to do that … for a while!
Inevitably, the planner in me got to work, and by February we had secured our venue and the majority of our suppliers. Go me! (ok, us … but it was mostly me haha!). Our budget was set, our wedding ‘style’ discussed and our wedding planning journey going swimmingly.
(this was our original inspiration board, there have been some changes so sharing this is OK ... don't want our guests to know everything!)
Those of you who know me, or have worked with me will know that stress isn’t something I tend to suffer with. I am a thinker, quite methodical in the way I go about things, I’ve often quietly worked out a solution to a problem without even making that problem public knowledge. Qualities that make me bloody good at my job. I’m so used to telling my clients; brides, grooms, parents of happy couples not to stress, to enjoy the wedding planning process… that I NEVER thought I would get stressed whilst planning my own wedding.
So, sue me … I am human! I turned into that stressed-out bride! I’m fine now, but I have to admit that during the last few weeks, boy have I felt it!
Why, I hear you ask? And the truth, is I don’t really have a specific answer. As with most couples, the root was probably the dreaded wedding budget – another thing I have blogged about! Yes, ours has increased. We aren’t splurging, we haven’t done anything crazy and we are only spending where we need to. But weddings are expensive, and they do force you to look at every person on your guest list like a walking £ sign! The thing is, that it’s not just the wedding is it? Life doesn’t just stop still for the 18 months give or take that you’re planning that big day for. It goes on, and other things come up along the way that require your attention … and/or your purse!
‘Why are we even getting married’
Yes, I said those words … and so did Mr Jade, more than once! And it took me actually thinking about the reasons why, to pull myself together and crack on! I’m not writing this post to tell you to just deal with it. I’m writing it to tell you it’s OK! I’m right there with you as a bride to be who has questioned everything … and still wants to get married! (disclaimer to Mr Jade, I didn’t need to question you as my husband to be, don’t worry!).
Along with the budget, another thing that stressed me out was time…. and how bloody quickly it was passing by. And this wasn’t because I was dreading the day arriving, but because I just couldn’t foresee how we would have enough time to get everything done. Like many modern bride and grooms to be, we are ‘DIY-ing’ a lot of our wedding. Making our own welcome signs, creating some sort of focal point for the ceremony etc. All lovely creative tasks that both Mr Jade and I are excited about. But all things that take time. And like I just said, life doesn’t stop still so you can get your Blue Peter badge for being a dab hand at building a cake stand sign. It keeps going, quickly!
So what do you do? …
Talk to someone about it – share the burden, ask for help! This would be the ideal time for me to pitch my services to you as a grade A wedding planner who can take the stress away for you. Who can deal with all those little bits that are bugging you or who can speak to the suppliers you just haven’t had time to finalise details with. And I absolutely could do that for you. I’m an expert at it, and now an expert with first-hand experience from the other side! But first, stop. Take a breath, and talk to someone about it. Ask them for help. Call your bridesmaids and ask them to help you DIY your welcome sign or work out your seating plan! Ask your fiancé to call the venue and check on all those questions you had. Remove things from your day that you don’t need – especially if you’re feeling the pinch budget wise. Swap the champagne for prosecco, scrap the favours, wear shoes you’ve worn before instead of buying brand new wedding shoes … there are no rules! And if it saves your sanity, I, for one am all for it!
One thing I advise you not to do, is to go down the route of asking your wonderful suppliers who you have obviously chosen because you love their work, for a further ‘deal’ or try and get them to lower their fees as you’ve ‘seen that you can get something cheaper elsewhere’. I can assure you, that although weddings are an expensive business. Reputable wedding suppliers aren’t making a fortune out of ripping you off … they are hardworking creative souls who work damn hard to deliver their services and make your day amazing. So yes, you may have to reduce the number of flower vases on your top table or have a tier less on your wedding cake … but please don’t ask why you can’t have them for free!
Take time out! Music is a huge part of who I am as a person, pre-kids I was an avid festival goer and a gig mosh pitter! I went to a gig last month and it reminded me of how bloody happy it makes me to mosh around and sing! I got home and listened to our chosen wedding songs; the song for the processional, for whilst we will be signing the register, for when we will make our exit as Mr and Mrs Jones and of course to what will be our first dance. I cried! Happy tears, as I could literally sense the happiness I’ll feel on my big day. I know, I’m a soft cow! But it worked. And it might work for you!
Look at what you have done so far … and give yourself a pat on the back! We have been slowly posting our invites this last month. Apart from this bringing a huge realisation that the day is getting closer, it made me realise that I can’t wait to see all the detail that we’ve been thinking up come together. According to my own blog on the wedding planning timeline (have a read if you haven’t already, it’s light-hearted I promise) … we are on track for the 3 months to go stage! I feel super proud of what we have done so far, I can only imagine how proud I will feel on the day itself when our family and friends get to enjoy it too!
So, it’s back to planning I go … as the stress free, super chilled bride I was always meant to be!
Inspiration board credits:
Colour palette: via Pinterest
Single vase flowers: via Pinterest
Anenome and rose centrepiece: via 100layercake | Photographer: Sarah Jozsa | Flowers: Amborella Floral Studio
Greenery inspiration: via Pinterest
Focal point inspiration: via Aisle Society and Elizabeth Anne Designs | Photographer: Savour Productions | Wedding Planning and Floral: Jill Loves Lace
Bridal bouquet: via Pinterest
Our stationery by Magnetig